HOW TO STOP WORRYING (STOCISM)

Feature Image: Robert Boynes – Non and Anon, 2019 (Acrylic on canvas, painted timber, diptych)

The great Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121AD – 180AD) is recognized for his philosophical meditations, setting him apart from many rulers of that age. Last of the Five Good Emperors, his death was considered the end of the Pax Romana, and marked the beginning of the eventual fall of the Western Roman Empire. Yet even in death, he impacts the world with his writings which, carried on to today, speak the timeless truths about living and dying in this transient, brutal world.

Worry is a universal, ageless human ailment. We especially, fearing rejection and failure, are worried about what others think of us. This, as Aurelius makes clear, is only a waste of our lives.

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people–unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

Dealing with worry is more than just that singular action. It is about conquering one’s own mind and making a habit of judiciously guarding it from destructive thinking.

“You need to avoid certain things in your train of thought: everything random, everything irrelevant. And certainly, everything is self-important or malicious. You need to get used to winnowing your thoughts, so that if someone asks, “What are you thinking about?” you can respond at once (and truthfully) that you are thinking this or thinking that. And it would be obvious at once from your answer that your thoughts are straightforward and considerate ones–the thoughts of an unselfish person.”

He asks us to develop a mind and character in which we guard our thoughts and refrain from entertaining thoughts that we would be ashamed to be caught thinking. This, in turn, can open the door for one to develop into a more ideal, meaningful identity.

“Someone like that is a kind of priest, a servant of the gods, in touch with what is within him and what keeps a person undefiled by pleasures, invulnerable to any pain, untouched by arrogance, unaffected by meanness, an athlete in the greatest of all contests–the struggle to not be overwhelmed by anything that happens. With what leaves us dyed indelibly by justice, welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes–whatever we’re assigned–not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say, or do, or think.”

This ideal person, who has mastered his or her thoughts and rejected worry, is enabled to focus entirely on his or her path and calling. It is in this self-mastery that we can begin to scratch into the surface of our highest potential.

“He does only what is his to do, and considers constantly what the world has in store for him–doing his best, and trusting that all is for the best. For we carry our fate with us–and it carries us.”

Not being concerned with what others think, however, does not mean to ignore others. The “common good,” as Aurelius describes, is to help others. But there is a big difference between being kind and charitable to others and pandering to their thoughts and opinions.

“He keeps in mind that all rational things are related and that to care for all human beings is part of being human. Which doesn’t mean we have to share their opinions. We should listen only to those whose lives conform to nature.”

This, too, is a blunt warning about listening to the sort of people whose philosophies and opinions will destroy our lives. A constant vigilance is needed to protect oneself from these caustic, dangerous people.

“And the others? He bears in mind what sort of people they are–both at home and abroad, by night as well as day–and who they spend their time with. And he cares nothing for their praises–men who can’t even meet their standards.”

In the end, worry has not changed for thousands of years. It is a disease that has and always will be, a plague upon our kind. But unlike so many ailments, this one can only be cured by you. It is a skirmish for your mind, your precious faculty of thoughts, and it must be won.